When Did Elementary Schools Start Teaching Photoshop?

This looks like something your kid would make you stick on your refrigerator. The globe is obviously from a clip-art gallery, but I really don't understand the drop shadow under the President. Some people think he walks on water and, judging by the powers of levitation he displays here, they could be right. If this image tells us anything it's that Obama is not going to make the United States 'just one of many.' On the contrary, he seems more poised to give the Earth a kick, or perhaps do some ball exercises.

Read These Options To Yourself In Glenn Beck's Voice

I'm sensing a lot of bitterness here. The popular answer seems more sarcastic than anything else, and I can't help but feel like they've started to let Glenn Beck write these. There is such a negative attitude in the way this is worded that I almost feel bad for these guys. The Fox faithful are clearly frustrated with everything Obama is doing, and it's really starting to manifest itself in these polls. Sure, it's probably not a complete coincidence that the "Sestak Report" was released in D.C. while Obama was out of town and right before the holiday weekend, but either way, it's not in any way a big deal. The whole BP fiasco is much bigger than anything else that's happening right now, so the White House could have released the statement any day of the week and I doubt anyone would be paying much attention. Time will tell if the report is true, and Fox will undoubtedly cover it to the point of exhaustion, so I don't know why they're so upset about such a minor detail. Someone needs a nap.

Someone Is Actually Being Paid For This

This might just be the most poorly edited image I've ever seen. Even if I ignore the horribly cropped image of a gigantic Obama, the weak drop shadow used to cover it up, and the pathetic attempt at a news logo, what really bothers me is the choice of photograph. Why in the world does the President have a pair of microphones under his desk? Also, who the hell is he pointing at? Is this what Fox thinks a newsroom looks like? How is this the most popular news network in the country?

John Paul Stevens Is Going To Kick Your Ass

The President better watch his back. I thought the 89-year-old Supreme Court justice was just going to retire, but there's more to it. Obviously, Obama is worried because he has to appoint a replacement whom the GOP will surely put through the wringer during confirmation hearings. Worst of all, this picture seems to indicate that if he doesn't do it fast enough, JP Stephens is going to lay the smackdown. You can't trust an old man who fooled the president who appointed him. Even in death, Gerald Ford's probably still sore from that one.

Another Missed Opportunity For "Audacity of Pope"

This one is such a stretch that it's not even fair to call it a pun. It's like when your weird uncle tries to make a joke that's so lame that everyone is forced to stand there in awkward silence, waiting for someone to change the subject. I also love that the article this links to claims that it's the GOP that is upset over the president's obvious hatred of his own country. When you place emphasis on harmless statements like this, I would like to think that even a Fox viewer could figure out what your intentions are.

Who Needs News When You Can Have Not News?

[VIDEO] I totally understand what Fox is doing here. The President gives important speeches all the time, so when a potential catastrophe occurs, it only makes sense to cut him off in order to cover it. News networks do this sort of thing all them time, especially when disaster strikes. This video is not for the weak at heart, so make sure your children aren't in the room when you choose to witness the horror that is a commercial airliner making a completely normal landing. I can only assume they were hoping for a crash, so they could be the first to cover it.

If You Multitask, The Terrorists Win

Little known fact: In addition to being our first African-American President, Barack Obama is also the first who cannot walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.

Somehow More Ridiculous Than The Original CNBC Headline

I think swatting a fly is a metaphor for socialism.