Finally, A Real Reason To Take Up Smoking

While the rest of the liberal media use letters and numbers with reckless abandon, Fox News takes the initiative to stamp out such wasteful alphanumeric spending. Instead of using the already abbreviated term "health care" to refer to recent health care reform efforts, they are staying true to their fiscally conservative roots by simply using the word "health." Best of all, there's no way it could possibly be confusing to the type of intellectual that trusts an outfit like Fox to provide them with accurate information.

'Bill' Signed Into 'Law' By 'President' (If You Know What I Mean)

Who else would use a common phrase that explicitly indicates fraud when referring to a partisan political issue that successfully made it through a legal legislative process? Also note that the three stories directly below this headline are all written to attract conservative readers. This is not uncommon, nor is it a coincidence. Fox is so fair and balanced that it hurts.

So Crazy, They Had To Give It A Face

The use of quotation marks and the likeness of John Boehner (who actually said it) is a thinly veiled attempt at hiding the fact that the people over at Fox believe every word of it.

Once Again, Why Is A News Organization Panicking?

News networks usually use the term "BREAKING NEWS" or "HAPPENING NOW" to describe the inherent newness of a story that has just come hot off the wire. One thing you'll notice about Fox is that when a story breaks that conflicts with their predetermined world view, they tag it as "URGENT." I've been seeing this  a lot in a recent days regarding the health care bill before Congress and it leads me to believe that the staff at Fox have stopped taking their Lexapro.

Please Let This Be A "Spy vs. Spy" Pun

 

Guess which ones are the bad nuns?

FOX: Ignore Reality

Unlike most who will read this headline, I actually watched Obama's interview with Bret Baier. Brace yourself, because I know it's shocking, but the President said no such thing. What he did say is that it's not his job to deal with congressional procedure one way or the other (which is true) and most Americans aren't worried about the inner workings of the legislature because they have much bigger problems (unfortunate, but also true). People should care what their government is doing, but there was nothing wrong or controversial about what Obama said and he certainly wasn't telling anyone to turn a blind eye, something Fox News did for a good eight years.

Real News Organizations Aren't Supposed To Appear Desperate

I know Fox and their Tea Party fanatics think "We the People" refers only to them, but this really reeks of paranoia and delusion. I won't be surprised if Glenn Beck starts bringing guns on his show.

Choosing Your Words Carefully Is Overrated

I have no delusions about the fact that almost everything FOX News does is intentional, including all the ridiculous things that appear on their web site. The way they present their editorial opinions as news is a big enough problem, but it's their ability to say something overtly political and not realize how stupid it sounds that makes them appear as ridiculous as they are dangerous. By the way, the link itself leads to a poll that is, unsurprisingly, way too slanted to be considered "fair and balanced."