Who Needs News When You Can Have Not News?

[VIDEO] I totally understand what Fox is doing here. The President gives important speeches all the time, so when a potential catastrophe occurs, it only makes sense to cut him off in order to cover it. News networks do this sort of thing all them time, especially when disaster strikes. This video is not for the weak at heart, so make sure your children aren't in the room when you choose to witness the horror that is a commercial airliner making a completely normal landing. I can only assume they were hoping for a crash, so they could be the first to cover it.

'Bill' Signed Into 'Law' By 'President' (If You Know What I Mean)

Who else would use a common phrase that explicitly indicates fraud when referring to a partisan political issue that successfully made it through a legal legislative process? Also note that the three stories directly below this headline are all written to attract conservative readers. This is not uncommon, nor is it a coincidence. Fox is so fair and balanced that it hurts.

Nothing Gets The President In The Mood Like A Good Abortion

The full sub-headline reads as follows: "Bart Stupak had in his hands the power to stop federal funding of abortions, and he handed the power to the man who is schoolgirl-giddy in love with idea of funding abortions – Barack Obama." I think what they're trying to say here, and I'm sure everyone will agree, that just the thought of a woman having an abortion makes Barack Obama feel like this:

Once Again, Why Is A News Organization Panicking?

News networks usually use the term "BREAKING NEWS" or "HAPPENING NOW" to describe the inherent newness of a story that has just come hot off the wire. One thing you'll notice about Fox is that when a story breaks that conflicts with their predetermined world view, they tag it as "URGENT." I've been seeing this  a lot in a recent days regarding the health care bill before Congress and it leads me to believe that the staff at Fox have stopped taking their Lexapro.

If You Multitask, The Terrorists Win

Little known fact: In addition to being our first African-American President, Barack Obama is also the first who cannot walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.

FOX: Ignore Reality

Unlike most who will read this headline, I actually watched Obama's interview with Bret Baier. Brace yourself, because I know it's shocking, but the President said no such thing. What he did say is that it's not his job to deal with congressional procedure one way or the other (which is true) and most Americans aren't worried about the inner workings of the legislature because they have much bigger problems (unfortunate, but also true). People should care what their government is doing, but there was nothing wrong or controversial about what Obama said and he certainly wasn't telling anyone to turn a blind eye, something Fox News did for a good eight years.

Real News Organizations Aren't Supposed To Appear Desperate

I know Fox and their Tea Party fanatics think "We the People" refers only to them, but this really reeks of paranoia and delusion. I won't be surprised if Glenn Beck starts bringing guns on his show.

Choosing Your Words Carefully Is Overrated

I have no delusions about the fact that almost everything FOX News does is intentional, including all the ridiculous things that appear on their web site. The way they present their editorial opinions as news is a big enough problem, but it's their ability to say something overtly political and not realize how stupid it sounds that makes them appear as ridiculous as they are dangerous. By the way, the link itself leads to a poll that is, unsurprisingly, way too slanted to be considered "fair and balanced."

Matt Damon Hates Your Freedom

I guess they didn't hear about Ben Affleck's new film. They are not going to be happy when they see him in a dishdasha.