We Drink the Tears of Farmers

I must admit, this is pretty funny. Not the extensive loss of property, but the clever wordplay, although someone obviously thought the subject matter was hilarious.

Everything is Black and White, and Everyone is Terrified

Sure a device like this could be used by terrorists, but why is that they always skip over every other possibility and go straight for terrorism? For that matter, why does anything that can potentially make it more difficult for the government to track you automatically become evil? And why does everything have to be anti-this or pro-that? The only thing I'm sure of right now is this: Fox is pro-fear.

I Can't Stop Imagining Fox Staffers Playing With Dolls

I couldn't find the a link for the original story, so I'm just going to use the Fox standard here and assume that this was a serious story that was purposefully represented with inappropriate (and stupid) humor. It was probably something about liberals trying to destroy America by regulating industrial toxins in children's toys.

I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If I Tried

This is absolutely fantastic. This image linked to an article about a study claiming that dinosaurs often had sex before they reached full maturity. The best part is that someone at Fox thought that there must be an age at which the extinct reptiles could legally start getting it on.

Someone Better Explain To The Terrorists What A Mall Is

Well, by "mall," we mean "Wal-Mart." Oh, and by "Terror Threat" we mean "black woman with a shopping cart." Don't worry, I think they'll get the message.

Somehow More Ridiculous Than The Original CNBC Headline

I think swatting a fly is a metaphor for socialism.