Students Forget Country Of Origin, Wear Flags As Reminder

Imagine my surprise when I visited the Fox News website today, only to discover a truly shocking story. Allegedly, many parents are forcing their innocent children to wear stupid Old Navy shirts sporting Old Glory, in what is being described as a desperate attempt to rediscover their own youth, which they obviously lost in the 1990s. It never really made sense to me why people in the United States wear clothing with their own flag on it. The symbol doesn't speak very loudly when you are almost exclusively surrounded by other Americans. Thanks for letting me know that you're one of us, because I was really starting to worry. In truth, the story is actually about students in California who were sent home from school for wearing clothes and bandannas displaying the Stars and Stripes on Cinco de Mayo. Sure, it was a blatant and immature middle finger to the students' "ethnic" classmates, but it's free speech nonetheless. Now, it turns out that the story doesn't actually mention anything about banning the American Flag, but that was not enough to stop Fox from asking yet another brain teaser in their daily poll. Sure, the possible answers are pretty normal, but honestly, what kind of results do you expect when you ask, "Should the American Flag be Banned -- in America?" I've never bothered to ask what happens to the people who vote differently in these polls, but I can only imagine that they are visited by the CIA and possibly detained as enemy combatants.